The Shield - Phone Options

Audio ripped from The Shield, Season 3, Episode 12: Riceburner.

Operator: Hello, you\'ve reached the Police Department\'s main switchboard. Please listen carefully to the following options. To be connected to a supervisor, because one of our jack-booted thugs mistreated you, and you want his goddamn badge, press one.

Ronnie: Cop I know sent it to me.

Operator: If you committed a crime you think you can bullshit your way out of, press two.

(Group Laughter)

Ronnie: It\'s great, isn\'t it?

Vic: If you shut up and let us listen.

Operator: If you\'re shirtless and threatening your girlfriend with a knife, and don\'t want one of our officers interfering with true love, press three.

Danny: Priceless.

Operator: To report an incident of racial profiling, put down your crack pipe and press four.

(Group Laughter)

Operator: If you can\'t locate one of your seven unsupervised, fatherless children, press five.